Add more poo phrases, and randomly choose one

1 files changed, 129 insertions, 1 deletions

diff --git a/src/app.php b/src/app.php
index 0a10ec6..b80083d 100644
--- a/src/app.php
+++ b/src/app.php
@@ -7,4 +7,132 @@
  * @author Phil Burton <phil@d3r.com>
  */
 
-echo "dump\n";
+$poos = [
+    "Taking the Brown's to the Super Bowl",
+    "Dropping the kids off at the swimming pool",
+    "Dropping a deuce",
+    "Busting a grumpy",
+    "Glassing the surface",
+    "Cuttin' rope",
+    "Pinch off a loaf",
+    "Make an offering to the porcelain throne",
+    "Pushing a mess",
+    "Building a log cabin",
+    "Make underwater sculptures",
+    "Unload some timber",
+    "Make like Snoop and 'Drop it like it's hot'",
+    "Need to void",
+    "Make a deposit in the porcelain bank",
+    "Use the big, white telephone",
+    "Feed the French",
+    "Unloose the caboose",
+    "Drop the property value",
+    "Plant a tree",
+    "Play dough factory",
+    "I've got to see a man about a horse",
+    "I've got to see a man about a wallaby",
+    "Growing a monkey tail",
+    "Murder a brown snake",
+    "Drive out the prairie dogs",
+    "Drown a baby otter",
+    "Gotta feed some bears",
+    "A brown dog scratching at the back door",
+    "Leave some gorilla fingers",
+    "Liberate the brown trout",
+    "Let the dogs out",
+    "Let the turtles loose",
+    "Laying some wolf bait",
+    "Slop some bum slugs",
+    "Sending a fax",
+    "Purge the council",
+    "Call my agent",
+    "Download some software",
+    "Getting something down on paper",
+    "Take care of some paperwork",
+    "Captain's log",
+    "Releasing the Kraken",
+    "Drop anchor",
+    "Drop some depth charges",
+    "Lay undersea cable",
+    "Insert a Navy Seal team",
+    "Deploying the USS Brownfish",
+    "Negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages",
+    "Churn the dookey butter",
+    "Drop some potatoes in the crock pot",
+    "Off to see the chocolate gobbler",
+    "Craft a fudge pop",
+    "Drop a swamp pie",
+    "Drop a grande grumpy",
+    "Anal puking",
+    "Assquake",
+    "Building a log cabin",
+    "Coiling some rope",
+    "Freeing the turtles",
+    "Growing a tail",
+    "Analyzing a log dump",
+    "Backing the trailer in",
+    "Baking a loaf",
+    "Baking some brownies",
+    "Baptising ______ [racial epithet]",
+    "Becoming one with the animal kingdom",
+    "Being anal-nonretentive",
+    "Big brown man knocking on the back door",
+    "Blowing mud",
+    "Bombing the Oval Office",
+    "Bunghole train has left the station",
+    "Lip-smacking names for doing a poo",
+    "Chopping a log",
+    "Coiling a steamernames for poo",
+    "Cooking a brown carrot",
+    "Cooking a butt burrito",
+    "Cooking up a pot of anal stew",
+    "Crimping off a length",
+    "Curling some pipe",
+    "Dirty birth",
+    "Downloading some brownware",
+    "Drilling for mud bunnies",
+    "Dropping a chocolate cobra",
+    "Dropping the kids off at the pool",
+    "Drowning the kittens",
+    "Exporting a cigar to Cuba",
+    "Filling the peanut butter jar",
+    "Full moon over troubled waters",
+    "Giving a [ethnic slur] a burial at sea",
+    "Greeting Mr Hankey",
+    "Grinding the beef",
+    "Moar names for doing a jobby",
+    "Hatching a new boss",
+    "Honking out a dirt snake",
+    "Launching a rectal rocket",
+    "Meeting the bald man with the cigar",
+    "Floating a corn canoe",
+    "Laying some brown carpet",
+    "Letting my people go",
+    "Letting the dog out",
+    "Making a deposit at the porcelain bank",
+    "Making a grunt sculpture",
+    "Making a Minnesota hand warmer",
+    "Making butt gravy",
+    "Making haggis",
+    "Making some trouser chilicrap the book",
+    "Microwaving a dachshund",
+    "Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages",
+    "Offloading some freight",
+    "Painting the bowl",
+    "Paving the Hershey highway",
+    "Paying the plumber",
+    "Planting a steaming bouquet of brown roses",
+    "Pinching the head off a [ethnic slur]",
+    "Poking the turtle’s head out",
+    "Polluting the pond",
+    "Praying to Buddha",
+    "Backing the big brown caddy out of the garage",
+    "Putting fruit in the bowl",
+    "Releasing the hounds",
+    "Removing a butt tampon",
+    "Squeezing out a Hershey’s Kiss",
+    "Stocking the lake with brown trout",
+    "Unfurling a poopdedoop",
+];
+
+echo $poos[rand(0, count($poos))] . PHP_EOL;